WARNING >>>>VENT COMING!!!

Someone PULEEEZE transport me to wherever this photo is?!?!?!?! I am SO needing serenity right now! OK-I am very happy for the people who are getting their referrals this month. That being said...Us 8/24'ers are now stuck teetering on the edge of the bottomless anxiety abyss, wondering if we are going to be next or not. 8/24/05 is apparently a huge LID date. I am trying to protect myself emotionally by thinking that for sure they will only get to 8/23/05 next month, and that we will finally find out who our daughter is in November....Like I said...I'm trying. I'm trying really hard. I swear I am.
BUT~
It's just not working. Do I dare get my hopes up that we will see her face in October? I'm afraid my hopes are already up a little. Ugh! This feeling of helplessness and of absolute and utter dependence on an agency in China that has no rhyme or reason to what they are doing is driving me nuts!!! I'm only slightly freaking out. I know someday my daughter will likely read this, and I don't want her to think I'm completely neurotic. On the other hand, maybe she will be able to tell how badly I just want to love her and bring her home to us. Angel baby girl, if you are reading this, Mom, Dad and the Brubbies love you so much!
Meliss